Nine times I wanted Pinterest to STFU

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Pinterest: the ultimate resource for those too lazy to think for themselves. Just kidding! I’m as obsessed with the pinnable platform as the rest of you but sometimes it just really pisses me off. Those effortless updo’s that offer “20 steps towards tousled perfection” and image after image of multi-million dollar beach houses decorated to be “shabby chic”…give me a break!

Yes I love Pinterest for its endless options of quick family dinners and free worksheets for my soon-to-be first and second graders, but sometimes I just want to scream “STFU!” Hint (and you won’t find this on Pinterest but feel free to Google), that means shut the **** up.

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Actually, skip the “lifestyle quiz” and get loads of generic brand diapers and wipes. 

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Ohhh only 50, the essential FIFTY?! I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast.

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The only memory I have from our first home is the neighbor’s excess of lawn ornamentation…and the robin’s egg blue bathtub. 

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This doesn’t even need a caption.

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Yes, a double braided princess bun will complement all my “occasions”…like pairing with my pj pants at school drop-off and working from home on the couch all day.

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I can’t even figure out what this means, let alone how to actually BUILD a plastic playhouse. 

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For all the pool parties I don’t have…because I don’t have a pool. Let me get that first.

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The idea of this is admittedly cute…except #10 is SUPER difficult when I am currently coveting every hairstyle, house and curated closet on my 25 Pinterest boards. Oh, and I already blew #3 from the beginning.

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Let’s save the $38 and the cutesy messages…get your butts in a corner and don’t talk or move until I tell you to (or until I finish this last episode of Real Housewives of Wherever).

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