I can’t go to your wedding, because I’m getting a divorce

divorce-cake
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My mailbox has had an influx of wedding invites as of late…save the dates and RSVP’s please are taking over the coveted space of my fridge and, while I find it flattering to be considered, I simply cannot attend. None of them. Can’t do it.

I’ve actually never been that girl who gets invited to a ton of weddings. I’m rarely considered to be a bridesmaid. So when I began receiving all these invitations of “hey we’re adulting, come celebrate” I should have felt flattered; instead, I felt sick to my stomach. No it wasn’t the option for chicken marsala that made me gag, nor the played out color palette of cream and coral…it’s just that I’m getting a divorce.

The thoughts of wedded bliss, hell not even happiness just the idea of festivities based around the so-called sanctity of marriage make me very uncomfortable. It’s not that I’m jealous of my friends, I’m actually very happy for every single bride-to-be. I think my lack of concern towards their nuptials comes from a very primal urge to protect myself, my heart, my sanity.

I hope I’m not alone here in my feelings. They aren’t displaced, these feelings, but completely compartmentalized like those old wedding photos you put away in a pretty box and only bring out on special occasions. Avoiding  all things wedding talk is my MO but not in a spiteful way…more in an oblivious, let’s stick to texting please don’t see me in person and start gushing way. Is this normal? Am I crazy?

For the crazy-in-love couples, I will probably only be able to attend two of the six. That figure is based on two things: cost (divorce is expensive, living on one income equally as stressful) and the likelihood I have to cry or not when thinking about their upcoming nuptials. Tears a yes? Go a no. I’d rather hit up an out-of-town wedding as well than one in my hometown too…that’s too close for comfort, too many mixed emotions and not enough mixed drinks. Unless the bar is open and then I’m there! Haha.

I’ve never been through this before and honestly, I never thought I’d even get married. The thought now of others, some of whom I can foresee not lasting either, walking the plank- err, I mean aisle- makes me nervous for them. I want to say no, stop, quit rushing it, save me the $39.95 plus shipping on that hideous casserole dish you registered for at Macy’s…take your time and enjoy being you and you not you x 2.

While I continue to work this out in my head, comment or share with us on the Fam Frenzy Facebook page if you’ve felt the same or how you dealt with the marriages of friends while yours fell apart (or consciously uncoupled, ha)! 

Featured photo courtesy of: MariaElita.com

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